Every year, European countries like Azerbaijan and Israel send the best pop star they can muster to lip synch their way to international fame and fortune. The contest's most famous winners, Abba, and the most awesome winners, Lordy, are not representative of the kind of songs featured. Generally, it is the music you would expect to hear in a Croatian night club. The spectacle looks like the brainchild of some beauty pageant organizer who spent week doing a mountain of cocaine while watching Xanadu on repeat.
This year did not disappoint. Although a little heavy on the ballads at first, it got going with some truly wretched dance music and ice-capades caliber choreography.
But right near the end, after the singing Russian grannies and the contorting Swede (she won), I was introduced to my nemesis: Jedward. Irish twins who have made a living (make that a killing) singing on various European television competitions, they came out JACKING OUR STYLE.
Who the hell do these snot-nosed little upstarts think they are? You do not step to 2 Skinnee J's like that and get away with it. It is not enough that these rip off artists finished 19th out of 24. For daring to challenge the J's, they must pay the ultimate price. Spread the word. If those punks ever cross 2 Skinnee J's path, they are going down. It's on!
I'm very excited about this. All hip hop bands need some rivals, and I think some post adolescent boy band is probably our speed.
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