Must... sleep...

I am an occasional sufferer of insomnia. This week has been one of those occasions.
I suppose it should come as no surprise that someone who had an ulcer in the 2nd grade and was dubbed Woody Allen by my own mother even before the hormonal angst of puberty set in would find something as banal as sleep to be elusive.
The mind at 5am is an elastic thing. You realize, it tells me, that in the time you've spent staring at the inside of your eyeballs you could have driven (or been driven - still no license) from Barcelona to Madrid, Montreal to Toronto or New York to DC? No wonder Tyler Durden traveled around the country setting up a secret society of disenfranchised good-looking white men. Poor unhappy Jared Leto. Speaking of which, it continues, what's the deal with all the Ryan Gossling love? His acting range extends from blank to a slight smirk and Drive was a very stylish root canal. What are you missing? Lars and the Real Girl? All that movie was needed was Zooey Deschanel, who is a decent singer who makes terrible movies and worse sitcoms. Seriously, IMDB her. The Happening. That Garden-State-meets-Memento bullshit-a-thon 500 (days) of (summer). (Or however it's punctuated - annoying even to a serial abuser of the parenthesis.) And why doesn't anyone like the new Shins album? Are they tired of having their lives changed?     
Is spending all night worrying about pop culture a step up or a step down from obsessing over your own existential issues, it wonders.
Why, it implores, will you drink a beer or smoke a joint, but not take a sleeping pill?
Yet, come daylight, it retreats into its shell like a frightened turtle, leaving me to stare blankly at my computer screen while my boss angrily tells me off for not answering her calls. Calls which come at any hour and are usually about nothing important. (Correction: They are always about nothing important. We send language teachers to companies. The worst that could happen is Jordi doesn't spend a lunch hour learning about the 2nd conditional.)
Sorry, I mumble. I had insomnia.